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Ear Marbles

January 23, 2010

So a story on NPR today peaked my interest: Ear cleaning. And now I’m obsessed and ready to go the ER for an emergency ear wash…

The story was about ear cleaners in India. Drive up, walk up service, 20 cents. The cleaners carry around sharp metal instruments and bits of cotton, and they delve deep down into the ear canal and scrape out all the wax.

Gross, right? My initial thought was there is NO WAY in hell I would ever pay some Indian dude 20 cents to stick a metal skewer into my ear.

Well when I got home I looked it up on you tube. Keep in mind the wax-ee in the video below is damn dirty hippy. But the shit the guy pulls out is INSANE!!!

Even though I feel I take VERY good care of my ears, swabbing at least once a day, I now have a nagging phobia that there is at least a tablespoon of wax in each of my ears.

Besides the video (I’m betting that hippy doesn’t even know that a Q-tip can be used for other things that detailing his bong), I have reason to believe there’s something in there.

When I was a wee girl, I woke up with muffled hearing in my right ear. My mom took me to the doctor, and they reached in my ear with one of these:

…and they pulled out a lot of soft wax, the kind you get on the Q-tip. But that wasn’t it. They said that I had a build up of hard wax in my ear, which happens when using a Q-tip, shoving bits of wax deeper into the ear canal. So they did a water jet cleaning.

H-O-L-Y shit! A FUCKING MARBLE OF HARD EAR WAX CAME OUT.

I was like TEN. So naturally twenty years later, I must have a golf ball of hard wax in my ears. I’m going to my ENT on Monday.

And a side note: Did you know that Asians’ ear wax is powdered? Weird.

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