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Professional Wino?

March 3, 2010

So I have an idea, and I’m not sure it’s a good one. I’ve always been intrigued by those companies who have household salespeople. Your own business: Avon, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, etc. I’ve never wanted to do that myself but I’ve always had mixed feelings about the people who sell them. Depends on the day…Wow, she’s brave and must be super social and creative to make a living that way….or….Ugh, she’s going to try to either sell me something or make me her drone protege…I can’t pull off thick makeup and scarves!!

I’ve been suckered into one too many Mary Kay “parties” that try to convert you to their Pink religion. They hook you with “You’re very pretty! Would you like to be my face model this weekend?” Sure! Why not? Then I get there and I have to take off and put on my OWN makeup, then sit thru a damn lecture with retarded PowerPoint bullshit trying to brainwash me into becoming one of the team.

And then there’s Cookie Lee.

Doesn’t she look happy in her gaudy costume jewelry? I loves me some costume jewelry, but I don’t want to sell theirs. Half the shit in their catalog I can either make myself or it’s so ugly I wouldn’t even sell it to my nemesis (Randy Newman).

Pampered Chef. Love to cook. Hate to clean. I’m eating off paper plates right now b/c I don’t want to do the dishes. I’d be a hack. If I owned any cooking gadgets, they’d get used once and then never cleaned, then rust and I’d have to throw them away.

So the one that has intrigued me is WINE. I love wine! I can drink it, I can pimp it out, right? I wouldn’t be someone who pushed it on everyone, just have wine tastings and gather and gossip. If someone buys a bottle, sweet! If not, who cares?! Let’s get drunk!

Should I try it? What can I lose, right? It’s just wine…the nectar of the gods!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 27, 2010 7:26 am

    Please please please update your blog. I just read the entire thing and I’ve been dying laughing. Thanks!

    • March 30, 2010 6:44 am

      OH MY GOD! THANK YOU! I kinda thought I was just writing this for my mom. Working on it!

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