He took her to her crest, then sent her plummeting over…and all that bullshit.

So I’ve read about 20 Nora Roberts books since November. I think I’m obsessed.

The good thing is, it’s inspired me to write again…and this time I’m writing trashy romance novels.  Kind of.

I’m going to try to avoid some of the lingo used in a lot of novels, including purple rods of glory and hot moist love caves.

I’m a super visual person, being a fantastic artist and all that I can’t stop picturing celebrities as my characters.  These two especially:

This would be Joe Manganiello (Alcide from True Blood). Good f-ing Lord.

&

And Josh Duhamel. Yummy in a different way.

There’s celebrity females, too, of course, but too many to post all the pictures.

If I never get published, eh. So what, it’s fun to write, especially sexy sexy sex scenes.

Maybe I’ll post an excerpt or something sometime.

And with that, I leave you with this:

Nom Nom on the Werewolf.

Rubia de los Muertos is down!

Blonde of the Dead is taking a mother f-ing siesta.

I’m taking a wee bit of a break from painting.  I’ve been working on these Day of the Dead portraits for almost 3 years now, and have done almost 50 portraits in that time.  I think it’s time to rest. I found myself just churning them out and not really putting myself into them, which sucks for me because that’s why I started-I loved painting them…now I don’t.

I’ll still do them occasionally, if someone really really really needs one…oh and RubiadelosMuertos.com is down as well, so email me if you need me: rubiadelosmuertos@gmail.com

Adios mother f-ers!

Oh, side note…I hope to be blogging regularly too…to my two followers…one of those being my sister. Word!

Grannie’s Cocktail

WTF Grandma?

 

 

 

via Twisted Vintage

Stencil FTW

About a year ago, I got the great idea to redecorate my bathroom. It was a stark shade of off white, and it felt so sterile every time I’d be dropping a deuce or showering. I wanted warmth while I pooped.

So I painted two walls a rich chocolate brown. Not poop brown, chocolate brown. My intention was to paint a tree branch with birdies on the main wall, in a bright green to match our towels. I decided that painting free hand would take too long, I decided to make my own stencil.

You can read about my failure here.

Here’s a picture of what became of my bathroom wall (which by the way is still looking like this after a year-I gave up):

Today I found an awesome new blog to follow: Lemon Tree Creations.

Among her posts of great home decor and craft ideas, was this post, showcasing her addition to her bedroom, a pretty white peony above her bed.

Did she free hand it? No. Did she make her own stupid stencil out of paper? No. Crafty bitch here bought a stencil from Cutting Edge Stencils. Shit. There’s a retailer of stencils out there? And a SHIT TON of branches with birds?

Balls. If I’d thought about it, I would have looked for this. But I didn’t. I have a one track mind when it comes to crafting. If I think of completing a project a certain way, that’s the way it has to be done.  Hence,

The real kicker is the price. The stencils are super cheap! Like $16-35 cheap! There are of course more elaborate ones that are more pricey, but the ones I’m looking at are $34! I probably spent more than that on the paper combined with my time and energy wasted.

Next time I get a grand idea to do something big like painting a fucking tree on a wall, I will look for alternate ways of my original plan.

Screw you, wall.

Fall just came in my mouth.

I ate this:

And washed it down with this:

 

(Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Tart + Hot Caramel Apple Cider=omfg fall)

Black Veiled Bride – a review

Yesterday I walked by Hot Topic, and saw this band, Black Veiled Bride, had vomited merchandise on the front of the store. I did a double take, because the photos were rigoddamndiculous.

So because I don’t have the thought to let each be their own, here is my review of them. Or their looks, anyway.

What the living hell is that?! I know the 80s are back, but this is like Goth and 80s Hair Metal had an ugly baby.

Are they dudes? Chicks? Their name implies they are women, so let’s take a closer look.

Definitely a dude. Or a really ugly chick.

This has to be a chick. Or I guess it could be one of those androgynous boys that wants to look like a girl (Justin Bieber).

This one’s so hardcore he’s taking a shit DURING his photo shoot. Guy.

This one looks like a manly chick, but there’s no boobs so I’m going with dude.

And then the last one…

Well that’s clearly not female OR male. It’s the kid from Jumanji!

See?

So they are a band of 4 dudes and a monkey. Rad. I bet their music is terrible. I won’t include their music in my review because that doesn’t matter much. Thanks for reading!

La Femme Accident

Major credit to anyone who knows the origin of the title, by the way. OMD forever!

I just found out about the coolest car…no, THING ever:

The Dodge La Femme

“Unveiled in 1955, the Dodge La Femme was Dodge’s appeal to the female driver of the late 1950′s.”

Holy shitballs isn’t it pretty?! How did I never know about this?

The 1955 model came with a stylish rain cape, fisherman’s style rain hat and umbrella. Additionally, buyers were presented with a “stunning shoulder bag in soft rose leather…fitted with compact, lighter and cigarette case.” How rad is that?!

Ugh. Now there’s another car to add to my list of classics I want to own someday. And by list I mean my head full of pretty old cars. Someday I’ll own a classic car, probably not a La Femme, but I will still wear a stylish raincoat and stylish rain boots in it.

Bieber

So what the french hell is up with this Justin Bieber horseshit? Even the Belgians know about him. I shit you not, I hung out with some tonight and they were all up on the Bieber front.

I walk into Hot Topic and see him/her everywhere, then he/she’s all over the internet now…what the hell is up with this kid?

Is that a comb forward? That hair is TERRIBLE. So terrible if I saw a kid with it in person I’d go fix it.

Man, I wanna hit that. As in take my fist and punch it in the poop face. The world is ending if this shit is popular and considered normal. Is that a fucking CARDIGAN? ON A DUDE?! F that. I’ve had a few beers.

BIEBER HAS A MANGINA!

Craft Uprising

So I’m stuck at home with a broken leg. Actually, I can drive, so I’m not completely stuck, but for the most part, I’m at home and bored out of my Goddamn mind.

Enter crafts.

I make jewelry, and I have for over a year now. I don’t have a style, I just make what I think other people want, and hope people will buy it. So far, this has worked for me. Now, however, I’m starting to get that “f you, i make what i want” attitude and just making what I want to make. Enter Lola the skeleton girl:

I think she’s just flat out gorgeous. I really didn’t think that many people would buy this jewelry, but holy shit! It sold out so fast! I sold them at my booth at a local arts festival, Artopia in Seattle.

The best part is WHO bought them. Mostly old ladies. Seriously. A couple normal skull wearing types, but one middle aged lady with a canvas tote with kittens on it bought 3 pieces. It was crazy.

So now I’m thinking about making Lola my signature piece and just making other jewelry to supplement it, as needed. Except I also bought this cameo, which is wicked awesome:

Speaking of Octopus-ses, Octopi, what the f ever you call multiple octopusses, shit. I’m getting a new tattoo this week. Right now I have a mermaid on my right foot, and now she will have a pretty Octo-lady friend on my left foot.

Isn’t she AMAZING?! She won’t look exactly like that since it has to fit on my foot, and I may have wide flat feet, but I don’t have Yeti feet. So she’ll be a little more compact, but beautiful nonetheless.

BACK TO CRAFTING

The first craft I took up since the leg break was making cell phone pouches. I know I already blogged about my foray into sewing, but whatever. Listen to it more. So what actually happened was that I bought a pouch from an Etsy shop, got it, it didn’t fit my phone. Balls. So I ripped it apart, figured out how she sewed it, and made one Droid size. And now that’s what I’m making, Motorola Droid sized cell phone pouches.

I’m trying to use really rad fabrics, not just flowers and shit. I do have some flowers and shit, but mostly cool stuff. Like camping pinup girls.

And my favorite, Day of the Dead. Again, the skull thing…I had two older ladies buy these pouches at the festival, then my MOTHER IN LAW, who is (in no disrespect) kinda yuppy, chose a Day of the Dead pouch for her new Droid. LOVE IT! I’m spreading the dead!

So then I had all this scrap fabric and needed something small to make. Enter coffee coozies. First off, I never thought I’d own a glass coffee cup mug, let alone with a homemade coozy on it. Now I own both, and make the latter.

I really didn’t think it was anything but practice, but now people are ordering them, so shit…gotta get better at top stitching, whatever.

And NOW I’m making laptop bags. My husband needed one for his new laptop, so I made him the cell phone pouch only bigger, and it works just great. I’ve tweaked his pattern and made one for my laptop, and it’s pretty rad, if I do say so myself.

And I do say so myself, because it’s good to have faith in yourself and love what you do, so yeah, my shit is awesome. And now a ton of people are going to see it, because I’m doing a giveaway in August thru a popular giveaway blog. I’ve been loading up my Etsy shop with as much shit as I can cram in and have it still look good.

So here’s my dilemma. I make like a gazillion things. Okay, four things, maybe five. Is it ok to have all the different things in one Etsy shop? Or should I have one for sewing, one for jewelry, one for my artwork, etc? It’s too much work to have two shops now, so I really don’t want more than that. But does it look jumbled, messy…? Go check it out and tell me: Lazy Susan’s Finery & Frippery.

And to end my rant, here is a picture of a kitten, and a link to Meowmania. Enjoy!

Try not to poop from the cuteness.

Kisses!

Susan

Happy 4th, fools!

And here are some red, white, and blue things that make me happy.

How rad is that couch?

Mmmm….cake…..

I’ve turned into a country dork and started a bottle collection. So yeah, blue bottles thrill me.

The red eyes of a blood sustaining vampire. I know, I’m a retard. No, I’m a Twi-tard.

Oh shit. I pooped he’s so cute.

I’d like to be there right now, who’s with me?

Yes, cake twice. I love cake so much it hurts. Especially Red Velvet.

Classic Red lips…and a hot white American bitch.

F-ing gorgeous.

I want a blue chair. And a cat.

Have a happy, safe, 4th of July! Don’t blow up any babies or fingers!